The Model Texts
In the example below, although both the formal and the informal text
express opinion, you will notice the opinion expressed in the formal text
sounds much more objective. This is because the writer has distanced him
or herself from the opinion through the use of impersonal and formal language
and supporting evidence. In contrast, the opinion expressed in the informal
text is more obvious, direct and subjective. Personal language such as
"I think" and a lack of reference to supporting evidence compounds
this impression.
Read the texts to view annotations on how the writers have expressed
their opinion in the texts.
| Formal Text |
Annotations |
The inequity
in the distribution of wealth in Australia is yet another indicator
of Australia's lack of egalitarianism. In
1995, 20% of the Australian population owned 72.2% of Australia's
wealth with the top 50% owning 92.1% (Raskall, 1998: 287).
Such a significant skew in the distribution
of wealth indicates that, at least in terms of economics, there
is an established class system in Australia. McGregor
(1988) argues that Australian society can be categorised into three
levels: the Upper, Middle and Working classes. In addition, it has
been shown that most Australians
continue to remain in the class into which they were born (McGregor,
1988: 156) despite arguments about the ease of social mobility
in Australian society (Fitzpatrick, 1994). The issue of class and
its inherent inequity, however, is further compounded by factors
such as race and gender within and across these class divisions.
The relative
disadvantage of women with regard
to their earnings and levels of asset ownership indicates that within
classes there is further economic inequity based on gender... |
Opinion is expressed in
an impersonal tone.
Supporting evidence (with reference to
authoritative sources) is provided.
Different degrees of modality have used
throughout the paragraphs to make claims depending on the strength
of the supporting evidence.
Supporting evidence (with reference to
authoritative sources) is provided.
Opinion is expressed in an impersonal tone. |
| Informal Text |
|
Because only a few people have most of
the money and power in Australia, I conclude
that it is not an equal society. Society has an Upper, Middle
and Lower class and I think that
most people when they are born into one class, end up staying in
that class for their whole lives. When
all three classes are looked at more closely, other things such
as the differences between the sexes and people's racial backgrounds
also add to the unequal nature of Australian society.
Women earn less than men and own less than men. Why is this so? |
Personal language has been
used to express opinion making the argument presented seem subjective.
This is a better example of academic voice
since impersonal language and sentence subjects have been used in
addition to the passive voice. However, the construction is still
relatively informal in comparison to the other text.
NOTE: No evidence supporting the student's expressed opinion
has been included in this paragraph. This is unacceptable in academic
writing.
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©
Copyright 2000
Comments and questions should
be directed to Unilearning@uow.edu.au
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